Depression; A Condition. Hope; THE Way out! Thoughts on Robin Williams -

A few days ago, the news broke the story about Robin Williams committing suicide. It was reported that he had suffered with severe depression. Medical and non - medical analysts have attributed several things they feel may have caused or contributed to his suicide. While I used him in this post's headline, I have no intention of making additional comments about him personally. I do want to share some things about another topic that arose as a result of Williams' death; that is, suicide in general. One website claims that nearly 30K people take their own lives each year. Some have suggested that suicide should have more attention in the media and perhaps persons who are extremely depressed would be encouraged to seek help.

Let me share just a piece of my story.

Depression is real. I know, I've struggled with depression for a long time. I've used the word "struggled." I suppose there are several synonyms I could have used. But I have struggled.

I seldom talk about it. There are a lot of reasons why I don't. This blog post is a risky entry. I fear what people will think and say when they find out that I have been severely depressed in the past.

In fact, this is the first time in several years that I have shared the link to my blog. Even though I write in a public forum, I know that many will misunderstand and I may be tempted to assume a defensive posture knowing full well that I may not be able to provide explanation for what I say. Sometimes I write and don't understand it myself...but...I risk my heart in hopes of sharing something that would help someone else. If you do take the time to read other posts, you may not understand my heart. I hope you do!

Questions often accompany transparency especially regarding why a Christian (and one involved in ministry) would be depressed. I have been told more times than I can remember that hidden and unconfessed sin is the only reason any Christian would be depressed, As one may imagine, those kinds of explanations (under the disguise of advice and counsel) only serve to send the heart into yet another downward spiral. I have spent hours, as a result, with a heavy heart, begging God to forgive me for something...anything...but particularly for things (yes, "things" means sin) that I committed years ago. When my friends shared with me "in love" that I was oppressed and DE-pressed because of sin, I felt chained to my past. I know, I've heard this: "When the devil reminds you of your past, remind HIM of his future." I believed I was forgiven. But way too often I couldn't feel forgiven.

Another reason I would rather not discuss the issues is because of another question. "Well, what on earth would you be depressed about?" To my knowledge, I seldom tried to answer that. I didn't know why I was depressed.  No reason I would give, when I chose to at least try to answer it, would keep people from  scratching their heads. When you're hurting, how can you actually describe something that you yourself cannot see much less help someone else to see? That is an exercise in futility.

Health, age, unfulfilled dreams...all of these, separate or bunched together and in varying degrees seem to have contributed to my depression.

So, what was my way of escape.

Always, in every case, and every day, God's word was my source of hope for salvation, healing and deliverance.

Somewhere on the net, there exists an account of an encounter with God that I had during a time when I was seeking him with all my heart. I won't share it here, but God asked me some questions just as surely as I'm alive right now typing this post. I have had precious few encounters with the Lord where I could claim that "He really did" speak to me. But on this occasion, and in His grace and mercy, He challenged me to seek Him, His Word and His Spirit as did Jeremiah and the Emmaus Road disciples did. He asked me why I had never asked Him to DO for me what He had done to Jeremiah and the two disciples we read about in Luke 24.

I cried out with as much passion and sincerity as I had within me. He kept His Word! He taught me; opened doors for me to share what He had taught,.and set my ministry on solid foundation for years to come. Then came the depression...

It was after my supernatural encounter with God, after He began to teach me deep things, that I committed to reading the Bible through the rest of my life. I have kept that commitment. There have been days when I could barely get out of the house. Some days I didn't. I wanted to withdraw from any contact. There have been times when I could not see God working in my life, or feel His presence...

...except...

when I had His Word on my lap reading, praying, and learning what it meant to push forward BECAUSE of HIS WORD!

Each day, regardless of how I felt, I could finish my Bible study time with a very conscious and deliberate action. I would choose to obey His Word and simply refuse to be defeated.

I never stopped sharing that there IS hope in the Lord because in my heart I settled this a long time ago  - His Word is absolute truth; a truth I could always depend on. 

That's why I am so passionate and persistent about asking (and sometimes pleading with) people to read, study, and learn God's Word. HE IS FAITHFUL! Then, when trouble comes, especially emotional trouble, you too can just make a choice...it's just that simple. Choose to trust in HIM and His word regardless of whether you feel the world is falling apart or not...make a choice. Believe and obey. Be faithful, because HE IS.

There IS a way out of depression!

There is so much more to say...I'll close for now. But listen...again,

There IS a way out of depression!