Praying and believing for the future!

"...(as it is written, “I have made you a father of many nations”) in the presence of Him whom he believed—God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did;"

This is from Romans 4:17 (NKJV). When I woke up this morning (at about 6:15 AM), this Scripture was on my heart and IN my spirit! An unusual verse perhaps to think of when writing a Thanksgiving post. But...check this out...

I opened the "new post" window, pasted the logo I wanted to use for this blog and copied the verse above from Biblegateway. com onto my new blog window. But then I stopped because Gayle and I were ready to have our morning devotional time. We are using Mark Batterson's Draw the Circle devotional book and we're in our third time through. Today, Gayle read Day 25. The title for this chapter is, "A Prophetic Voice."

I wish I could just copy and paste today's devo right here into my blog because every word Batterson wrote for day 25 had already been placed in and on MY heart when I first woke up. Let me share one paragraph under the heading, "Personal Prophecies."

"Prayer isn't just the way we cultivate our own potential; prayer is the way we  recognize potential in others. Like Paul, who saw gifts in Timothy that Timothy couldn't see in himself, we, through prayer, are enabled to see with prophetic eyes. We are given supernatural insight. Then we are prepared to speak with prophetic boldness into the lives God has positioned in our path" (140).

Today is Thanksgiving Day, 2015. Gayle and I praise and thank God daily for His abundant supply. I, as anyone talking about this "holiday" could, thank God for the rest of our lives for all He is and for all He's provided. I thank Him for life eternal made possible through Jesus. I am thankful for Gayle, my family and friends, and for His sustaining daily strength in spite of critical health issues.

But today, I am also thankful for the things God is going to provide us in the near future! I said in my last blog that I would share some things about four things Gayle and I are praying about AND FOR! 

1. We thank God that He is going to miraculously save the girls, the manager(s), and the owners of New York New York which is a local strip club. We are praying for each person to have other vocational opportunities as well. With everyone involved out of "the business," we are praying that God would provide the building for a ministry center that could be remodeled and sanctified for His work.

2. We thank the Lord for the work He's doing at a local high school. And trust me, He IS working. But our praise takes us to the work He's about to do there. Revival is coming. We're sure of it. And many, many lives (students, faculty and staff) are going to be transformed by the grace of God. Jesus is about to show up, AND show off! (Thanks for that too, Mark Batterson!) (I wish I could share the story of just ONE young man, a ninth grader who has the faith of someone who has lived for Christ MUCH longer. He's amazing! Perhaps soon, he will share his story here.)

3. Gayle and I praise God for the open doors He is going to provide to have my books edited professionally and published. I am convinced that the Lord gave the ideas and themes to me and I believe that He is going to use them to reach a lot of folks with the Gospel.

And, 4., Because of the love and support of some dear friends whom I love with all my heart, Windstorm is back on the Web. I had a dream that took shape in 1985. That dream has yet to be fulfilled but that dream, with many parts, is about to come to pass.

We believe. And, we give thanks!

              

Blogging again...

It's hard to believe that it's been nearly nine months since my last post. I write again, today, in the shadow of the terrorist attacks in Paris, France. I am not even sure how to re-introduce things for which I am passionate. To cover everything in this post would take much longer to write than there is time, and, it would take much more time to read than you can spare. I, for the sake of time, will highlight those things for which Gayle and I have been praying earnestly. Longer "stories" about these "dreams" will be forthcoming. An old familiar bullet list will have to point the way today...

• Where, really, would one begin to comment on or "analyze" the events in Paris over the last twenty-four hours? Hundreds of hours of news coverage have now accumulated. I have watched a significant amount of that coverage. Just a short while ago I heard the end of an interview with an "authority" in understanding the radicalization of Muslims. He made this comment, (which is somewhat of a paraphrase): 

What we need (he said) is to determine what causes persons to turn to the dark side. That way, it would be easier to identify potential terrorist threats.

Wow, could we ever take off and chase a whole herd of rabbits with that one...(are a bunch of rabbits a herd?)

This particular thread of the ongoing debate over the "radicalization" of Muslims who actively engage in terrorism assumes, as does all of Western society that human beings are independent of any spiritual influence. So, given that people can simply choose to do good or evil society must safeguard itself against the influences that would cause people to choose to do evil.

But a fundamental biblical truth trumps the ideals and philosophies of any culture or society. While many different texts could be considered, here is one that lays the context for evil in the world. (From 1 John 5:19 ESV)

"We know that we are from God, and the whole world lies in the power of the evil one."

Yes, people can do good things. But, that doesn't change the fact that until one is born again and comes under the influence of the Holy Spirit, "radicalization" lurks in the darkness. So, to all the pundits who want to try to squelch the radicalization of people who become terrorists, there is only ONE hope...

THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST!

PERIOD!

Next time out -

• A strip club turned ministry center
• Revival at a local high school
• Book projects
• Windstorm on the Web

The NCC at NYNY! (Dreamin' BIG!)

I cannot count the times I've written about hopes and dreams I have that I feel have been given to me by the Lord. I write today to share yet again one of those "dreams."

I felt called to ministry a long time ago. I cannot point to a specific time, place, or associate that calling with an event, but I definitely know that God has called me into ministry. I also know that "ministry" encompasses that to which Jesus calls ALL believers and expressed, explained, and defined in Matthew's and Mark's Great Commission. Specifically though, for me, my "call" has to do with preaching and teaching Scripture in settings that would win unbeliever's to Christ and to also disciple them as Jesus prescribed. 

Sometime between 1989 and 1992 I believe God performed a miracle for me that sealed my belief that God had me in the area in which I live to do His work, in His will, and in His way. That work would result in many lives being saved and growing towards maturity as taught in Scripture. This miracle involved a dead tree coming back to life. I won't tell the whole story here but I have never stopped believing that what I saw and felt was God's affirmation that I was right where He wanted me and that He was going to raise up His church as a witness to Him just as He had resurrected my little dead tree.

You, my reader, may not be able to fully understand the brokenness I felt when, instead of the church growing, it began to decline. Shattered is the only adjective I can use to describe how I felt when a half dozen or so folks and I had to make the decision to close the church in March, 1993. It was devastating. Not only did the church not grow, but closed. 

I have carried the sorrow and guilt of that for twenty - two years. But here's the thing - when one is given a miracle and one sees the miracle, it's hard not to hide that in the heart and expect that what was pronounced by the miracle would someday come to pass.

Since I am writing this post on February 22, 2015, it is less than a week until March 1st - the month that the church closed so long ago. I have to tell you that twenty - two years is a long time to hold on to and hold out for a dream. As I write, there are no visible signs that would cause me to hope for the miracle that I believe God gave me more than two decades ago. But here I am. Hoping, Dreaming. And, believing. 

Along with the dream of the church that I feel the Lord told me He would raise up comes the location for the church that in and of itself would mean that people would come to know the grace, mercy, peace, and love of Jesus.

The name and mission of the church that closed was The North County Church. The mission? To win the whole of the northern part of our county. There is currently, all across America, a concerted effort to combat human trafficking. The prostitution industry in America and here locally is linked to strip clubs and shops that sell sex related merchandise. It is by now common knowledge that pornography has ripped the very heart and soul out of the men in America which includes the men of the church. 

So, with the memory of a miracle; with the name and mission of the church well defined; and with the passion to see lives unchained from sexual sin (and every other "sin"), the only thing left is a location in which the ministry could be housed.

Here's where the dream gets crazy. Today, I renewed my hope and prayer that the Lord would provide the building in which New York New York, a local strip club currently does business. I pray that the owners, managers, workers, and patrons come to the place where they can trust Christ with all their hearts; follow Him wherever He leads, and share His love with their world. I pray that the resources would be provided to buy the building; remodel and equip it to house a church and ministry center that would reach the whole world. After dreaming the dream for over twenty years...I think I can keep dreaming a while longer. In fact, I will keep dreaming!

Yes The NCC in place of NYNY. I'll hold out for that!

Now, about that list...

I left the ministry a few years ago. I will talk about the why in another post, but at the time I decided I'd just call it quits, I (obviously) thought I would never be back. Keep in mind, I didn't say I left the church. I continued to sing, preach, and teach when given the opportunity but I had faced such discouragement and I felt so isolated that I wanted nothing to do with professional ministry again. A few years later, after a very long time seeking and searching for a restored vision, the Lord answered my prayer. I had what I thought was a word directly from Him. A "word" for the church I felt sure He would someday allow me to be part of and dare I say the church I was certain I would pastor. 

Mission statements are all the rage aren't they? Experts do not agree on whether or not an organization even needs a mission statement but a lot of time is spent writing them. I seemed to have a certain clarity for a mission statement that would easily and concisely communicate elements of and for a new church. This new ministry outreach would be a - 

P.E.P. Rally

P.E.P. is an acronym for Praise, Equip, and Prepare.

I want to share some things about each of the elements in this acrostic mission statement but will start with the last and work my way to the first. So, let's talk about Prepare.

Let's talk about a church that would, as part of it's very foundation, prepare for the Second Coming of Jesus. It's an important topic considering the fact that Jesus talked about His coming a great deal. Check out this portion of Matthew chapter 16:1-4;

Then the Pharisees and Sadducees came, and testing Him asked that He would show them a sign from heaven.  He answered and said to them, “When it is evening you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red’; and in the morning, ‘It will be foul weather today, for the sky is red and threatening.’ Hypocrites! You know how to discern the face of the sky, but you cannot discern the signs of the times. A wicked and adulterous generation seeks after a sign, and no sign shall be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah.” And He left them and departed.

We must obviously guard our propensity to eisegete Scripture. I have often heard this set of verses quoted to support trying to estimate the time in which Jesus' would return and time would cease. I think there may be a link, albeit weak, that would allow us, with some degree of assurance, to discern "...the signs of the times..." in connection with His coming. However, having said that, and if one would be true to the text and context, I don't think these verses speak directly to or explicitly of trying to determine when Jesus will come.

So then, what's the point and why am I suggesting that this part of Matthew's Gospel could provide an accurate and biblical way to determine whether or not we were close to the day of Jesus' return?

I'm glad you asked...I'll explain it in the next post. Stay tuned!

2015. Bring it on...

2015. At the time of this writing, a new year is exactly six hours away. At this same time last “new year,” if I had decided to blog the event, would not have revealed anything different than what I am about to “blog” tonight, December 31, 2014. What I would have written would be that which has erupted from my heart every year for well over a decade. The elusive dreams for a future that seems increasingly out of reach.

A few days ago, I posed a question on Facebook. “If hope is all one has, is hope enough?” I think that it is – hope is enough to keep dreaming. In spite of having no visible signs that the dreams in my heat are viable and worthy of hope, hope hangs on.

I’ve talked about them – the dreams – a lot in the past. In fact, in one way or another, those dreams and the disappointment(s) I’ve felt as a result of not seeing them fulfilled has dominated my writing. Tonight, just hours away from a new year, I want to actually share some of the dreams for which I hope.

I’ve always wanted to write. (You may be thinking that, after reading my blogs over the years, I should hope for something a little more attainable, tongue – in – cheek!) To date, I have completed two projects. One was self – published a few years ago, with the help of a friend. The second is a training guide for a t – shirt project I feel the Lord gave me a long time ago. It needs to be professionally edited. Both, I hope one day, will be published by a major company.

I am currently working on a novel called Salvation in the City. I not only would like this project to be professionally edited and published but someday turned into a screen play and movie.

That’s all, right? No, a 1000 times no! I also believe that when I was in first grade, a vision of sharing the gospel all over the world came to me. Part of the fire in my heart is fueled by a desire to pastor a church. God was so gracious to me and allowed me to pastor three churches. I could write volumes on the mistakes I made but the point is, for this post, that I am convinced that God will one day give me one more chance to lead a group of people that believe they (we) can win the world.

There are so many things I could talk about that I hope a new church would embrace from the Scriptures but there are also things that I hope the church could discard that actually serve to cloak the Gospel. (That part of the “list” will have to be saved for another post!)

Age and its accompanying health concerns seem to be increasingly large barriers to seeing my dreams come to pass, but I defer to my opening lines…

I continue to hope…and for now at least, hope is enough!

2015. Bring it on…

RAW and BRUTALLY HONEST...thoughts on depression, p2

"Choose for yourselves this day...

...whom you will serve...

...As for me and my house...

...we will serve the Lord.

Joshua 24:15 NKJV 

Of late, how many times has "choice" been part of conversations about most any topic one would want to discuss in American culture? We have "rights," right? (Yes, I meant to use the word twice...for emphasis...) We must exercise our basic right to choose, right? We can choose where to eat, what to eat (except in New York where you can't buy a large soda...oh, I forgot, folks kicked that to the curb because it did away with one's ability to choose.) We can choose our heath care...not...we can choose our religion and we can choose whether or not to murder a baby...so just leave me alone because I have the right to choose!

There IS one choice that we have for sure and the choice we make determines where we'll spend eternity. I think that trumps every other choice. A lot of folks believe in "free will" but I choose not to open that can of worms. All I’ll say about it is this, if you KNOW the facts about God’s will, revealed only in His Word and through His Spirit, does it make any sense to make choices without figuring out what His will is?

The point of my last post, (Thoughts on depression; part 1) was that God’s Word is that which helped me make choices that enabled me to function (survive) and even thrive in the very middle of depression. Had God not been faithful to teach me for the years, before the times of depression came, I can’t say what condition I would be in today. Again, though, He WAS faithful! His faithfulness allowed me to make the decision to follow Him and obey all that He had asked of me even though the days and weeks were often overcast with storm clouds. And btw, not only WAS He faithful, He IS faithful!

I will share briefly three issues that have, in part, been issues that have caused my depression. I have never talked about these in depth in any blog. Talking about them privately or in a very small group is one thing, but to be so brutally honest and gut wrenching raw is quite another. I only share them now, even at the risk of misunderstanding, because maybe someone else will be encouraged.

Crushing defeat –

I accepted the call to pastor my second church with an absolute assurance that I was in God’s perfect will. I think I could safely include most of those who made “the call” in those who also believed we were in God’s will. The weeks and months following my move seemed to confirm out choices. The church grew and we were able to expand our ministry outreach. We made plans to move from the churches’ original location for reasons that seemed to be right. Within a few months after our move, things began to change. After 3 years and 10 months the church closed.

I was devastated. On the advice of “friends” we gave up. The assets were liquidated and our state charter was canceled. I don’t suppose anyone who has not been a pastor and had a church which once thrived to collapse and close could understand the heartache and sense of defeat. I felt betrayed, misunderstood, and isolated.

Honestly, I have never fully recovered. I often feel embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty. Oh, I know, I’ve heard all of the responses one could hear and I believe them. But, in spite of my sense of utter failure, I choose to press on and proclaim that which I know to be true – God’s Word.

Poor Health -

Over the years my health has declined. So much so, that unless the Lord would heal me (and I DO believe in Devine healing, I will never be able to pastor another church. I left my third and last church in 1995. I have prayed earnestly for one more chance to do that which I believed God called me. For 19 years I have prayed for one more chance…and now, at 58, it seems too late to be called to a church as pastor.

As I said, this is brutally honest and absolutely raw. I don’t allow comments on my blogs and I’m especially glad particularly for this post. Again, I’ve heard all the things that are meant to bring encouragement but sometimes folks feel obligated to say something…I’m not looking for any response. I hope no one feels obligated to offer sympathy! I just want to share my heart in hopes of helping others who have broken dreams.

What does one do when hopes and dreams are not only shattered, but broken into pieces and blown into the winds of time?

A dynamic faith in God and His Word is believed IN and acted ON regardless of whether great disappointment and illness sometimes sucks the hope of an abundant life away with fury

.

Financial issues –

Wrong career choices, poor health, and failure to plan effectively by looking somewhat further ahead can leave one in dire financial straits. When God’s will is sought in earnest about choices that affect not just vocation but ministry and one feels like they are without question, in God’s will, to have those choices backfire, one can feel like they’re in the middle of a crash and burn situation. When there is no end in sight to financial crises that threaten to suck the very joy of living out of our heart, what does one do? What can one do?

Because I have learned what the Bible says about what God requires in the stewardship of one’s finances, we choose to be faithful in tithing and giving of finances in accordance to Scripture. It doesn’t matter if God never sees fit to “bless us” in a way that I pray for…His Word directs us in our giving. Is there discouragement? Yes. I can testify that our “needs” seem to always be met. Are there still days when the pressure to find a way to do other things so that peace of mind would come in financial issues? Yes, without question.

As I said, because I made a choice a long time ago to believe in, trust, and obey the Bible, I press on believing that miracles do exist and that perhaps I will see one of them.

It’s all about choice. Regardless of what we feel, where we find ourselves or the troublesome storm that lies in the horizon we can end with where I started –

In God’s Word. NONE of His promises has ever failed!

Are you discouraged? So much so that you’re also depressed?

Learn God’s Word, so that a choice can be made.

He wants to use you even in the midst of what seems like darkness!

I made it through some tough times. I think I’m on the other side of it.

 The temptation to be hopeless has been set aside by my faith and trust in a faithful, loving, gracious, and merciful God! That IS hope!

Don't despair! 

Depression; A Condition. Hope; THE Way out! Thoughts on Robin Williams -

A few days ago, the news broke the story about Robin Williams committing suicide. It was reported that he had suffered with severe depression. Medical and non - medical analysts have attributed several things they feel may have caused or contributed to his suicide. While I used him in this post's headline, I have no intention of making additional comments about him personally. I do want to share some things about another topic that arose as a result of Williams' death; that is, suicide in general. One website claims that nearly 30K people take their own lives each year. Some have suggested that suicide should have more attention in the media and perhaps persons who are extremely depressed would be encouraged to seek help.

Let me share just a piece of my story.

Depression is real. I know, I've struggled with depression for a long time. I've used the word "struggled." I suppose there are several synonyms I could have used. But I have struggled.

I seldom talk about it. There are a lot of reasons why I don't. This blog post is a risky entry. I fear what people will think and say when they find out that I have been severely depressed in the past.

In fact, this is the first time in several years that I have shared the link to my blog. Even though I write in a public forum, I know that many will misunderstand and I may be tempted to assume a defensive posture knowing full well that I may not be able to provide explanation for what I say. Sometimes I write and don't understand it myself...but...I risk my heart in hopes of sharing something that would help someone else. If you do take the time to read other posts, you may not understand my heart. I hope you do!

Questions often accompany transparency especially regarding why a Christian (and one involved in ministry) would be depressed. I have been told more times than I can remember that hidden and unconfessed sin is the only reason any Christian would be depressed, As one may imagine, those kinds of explanations (under the disguise of advice and counsel) only serve to send the heart into yet another downward spiral. I have spent hours, as a result, with a heavy heart, begging God to forgive me for something...anything...but particularly for things (yes, "things" means sin) that I committed years ago. When my friends shared with me "in love" that I was oppressed and DE-pressed because of sin, I felt chained to my past. I know, I've heard this: "When the devil reminds you of your past, remind HIM of his future." I believed I was forgiven. But way too often I couldn't feel forgiven.

Another reason I would rather not discuss the issues is because of another question. "Well, what on earth would you be depressed about?" To my knowledge, I seldom tried to answer that. I didn't know why I was depressed.  No reason I would give, when I chose to at least try to answer it, would keep people from  scratching their heads. When you're hurting, how can you actually describe something that you yourself cannot see much less help someone else to see? That is an exercise in futility.

Health, age, unfulfilled dreams...all of these, separate or bunched together and in varying degrees seem to have contributed to my depression.

So, what was my way of escape.

Always, in every case, and every day, God's word was my source of hope for salvation, healing and deliverance.

Somewhere on the net, there exists an account of an encounter with God that I had during a time when I was seeking him with all my heart. I won't share it here, but God asked me some questions just as surely as I'm alive right now typing this post. I have had precious few encounters with the Lord where I could claim that "He really did" speak to me. But on this occasion, and in His grace and mercy, He challenged me to seek Him, His Word and His Spirit as did Jeremiah and the Emmaus Road disciples did. He asked me why I had never asked Him to DO for me what He had done to Jeremiah and the two disciples we read about in Luke 24.

I cried out with as much passion and sincerity as I had within me. He kept His Word! He taught me; opened doors for me to share what He had taught,.and set my ministry on solid foundation for years to come. Then came the depression...

It was after my supernatural encounter with God, after He began to teach me deep things, that I committed to reading the Bible through the rest of my life. I have kept that commitment. There have been days when I could barely get out of the house. Some days I didn't. I wanted to withdraw from any contact. There have been times when I could not see God working in my life, or feel His presence...

...except...

when I had His Word on my lap reading, praying, and learning what it meant to push forward BECAUSE of HIS WORD!

Each day, regardless of how I felt, I could finish my Bible study time with a very conscious and deliberate action. I would choose to obey His Word and simply refuse to be defeated.

I never stopped sharing that there IS hope in the Lord because in my heart I settled this a long time ago  - His Word is absolute truth; a truth I could always depend on. 

That's why I am so passionate and persistent about asking (and sometimes pleading with) people to read, study, and learn God's Word. HE IS FAITHFUL! Then, when trouble comes, especially emotional trouble, you too can just make a choice...it's just that simple. Choose to trust in HIM and His word regardless of whether you feel the world is falling apart or not...make a choice. Believe and obey. Be faithful, because HE IS.

There IS a way out of depression!

There is so much more to say...I'll close for now. But listen...again,

There IS a way out of depression!